570 Southpark Boulevard
Colonial Heights, VA 23834
As you all know, I search high and low for the best places to eat in the Tri-Cities. This has brought me to the bad parts of town and to quite a few dumps but this is the first time that it has brought me to a sporting goods store. A couple of weeks ago on a day that I had off my dad brought my brother and I to Dance’s Sporting Goods for breakfast. I’m sure that a lot of y’all are probably asking yourselves “Why on earth would anyone go to a sporting goods store for breakfast?”. I’ll tell you why- because it serves one of the best breakfasts in the Tri-Cities and is the only place where you can eat breakfast and buy an AK-47 or two.
This is by no means a restaurant; it is just a food counter in the middle of the store with a waitress and a short order cook and a lot of people sitting around the counter eating and carrying on. I have never eaten at Dance’s for lunch, only for breakfast. I do not get to eat there often because it is only open on weekdays and closed on most Holidays. So whenever I get to go with my dad it is always a treat. We always order the same thing; a sausage sandwich on toast with mayo, home fries with cheese and onions, and a sweet tea. This time was no different.
The waitress is the aunt of one of my brother’s high school friends so every time we go she catches us up on how he’s doing. This time she informed us that he and his wife are expecting their second child; he’s a tougher man than I. After we talked for a few minutes she took our order and brought it to the back. In less than a minute we had three super sweet teas in front of us and we were looking around to see what new items they had in the store. There was a cute young cashier walking around which my dad pointed out to Alex and then continued to give him a hard time about talking to her. Alex as usual was not amused. Before they got into a big fight we were served our breakfast.
The sandwich is what you would expect, a piping hot sausage patty fresh off the grill nestled between two crispy toasted pieces of bread buttered with a quick slap of mayo cut into two triangles. I’m not sure what it is, I would guess a high quality sausage, but it is always fresh and awesome. The sandwich is great but the real reason we go to Dance’s for breakfast, other than to look at guns, is the homefries. Explaining homefries to a person who has never eaten them is quite difficult. The closest thing that they could be described as is hash browns, but they are by no means hash browns. They are more like velvety smooth mashed potatoes with a few onions, slightly fried on each side and topped with cheese. I put just a little bit of ketchup on them and I am in heaven. They of course taste kind of like mashed potatoes but being fried and I assume sprinkled with some secret seasonings makes them out of this world.
One of the best parts of eating at Dance’s is after we finish our delicious breakfast we can then go around and check out all sorts of guns and hunting equipment. Dance’s Sporting Goods offers a real man’s breakfast with a side of firearms. I will definitely be going back on my next weekday off and I recommend that you stop on by sometime to grab breakfast and buy an assault rifle.